Cracking Vows #ATOZCHALLENGE - C (2026)

"I didn't sign up to be your housekeeper, I wanted to be your life partner," Meera hollered.

An indifferent Shirish kept tapping keys on his keyboard, not even looking up to acknowledge her. Silence seemed to be his strongest weapon to show disapproval towards her. Meera felt like she wasn't given a choice. She had to endure.

"Do you have any idea how difficult it gets for me at times? And I have nobody to speak with."

Anger was seething on Shirish's face but he didnt react. He continued to do what he was doing, growing increasingly hostile.  

Meera relented. If things went wrong, she and her meltdown would be the sole bearers of blame. And nothing would change.

The long spells of ignorance peppered her mostly-at-home life with post lockdown work from home. She and Shirish seldom stepped out. For a five-year long marriage this kind of routine translated into boredom and disdain ... for Meera.

Was Shirish bored? Did she not matter to him anymore. That apart, why was he always out to impress others? Was she less important? Where did she fit into the scheme of things? When was the last time Shirish asked her what she wanted to do or where she wanted to go? The questions haunted her each time there were spells of him giving her the cold shoulder. Her overthinking persisted breaking her resilience from within. Something inside wanted to shake him up badly, just to make him acknowledge her. Right now, that seemed to be a daunting task.

His phone rang again. The aunt who talked endlessly had called. Another hour would be lost to long and incessant chatter about life. Her life. Meera's pain would remain invalidated and unresolved. She too had things to say, but there was nobody to listen. The only conversations they ever had were what to cook, what needs fixing and what the maid didn’t clean and Meera had overlooked. The conversations were fraught with direct criticism about her housekeeping abilities and she was singed by the lack of empathy. A tear escaped her eyes and got rubbed off almost too quickly. Although she wanted validation, her expression of grief needrd privacy. 

"I could have been working in an IT firm all my life and not have gotten caught up in a marriage that apparently isn't working for either of us." She redressed to herself turning away, curling her long thick tresses into an unruly bun. Giving a side-eye to her slightly stodgy frame from four years of work from home, she walked up to the fridge, opened the door and helped herself to a cube of dark chocolate. The side-eye helped her negotiate her rational choice over the need to indulge. 

While savoring the chocolate her mind raced to that so-called family friend, Trisha, who always threw herself at Shirish shamelessly and claimed he was like a brother to her. The problem was not Trisha. The problem was Shirish not saying a word to her. Even Meera’s own mother had told her to ignore Trisha. It wasn’t even a problem. But to Meera it meant one more betrayal. Her own mother  had sidelined her. 

She shut her teary eyes in despair praying in that one second to cleanse her life of all toxic influences. The whole world looked wrong. 

Aunty for her longest tirades that Shirish listened to like he were a paid therapist. She had only redressals and advice to give. Try telling her something and she would clap back with denial. If you persisted, she'd think of innovative ways to put you down. How free was this person?

And Trisha. Althought Shirish should have told her off, and even her mother should have supported her, Meera felt Trisha had absolutely no boundaries with people. Because she had none, she felt others didn't either. How mindless was this person?

And the realisation of Shirish being at the center of it all was painful as ever. Her mind would explode with all the humiliation she had borne silently because Shirish never spoke. The thoughts circled in her head, not allowing her to focus. Her mind raced back to the time when Trisha had made an impromptu visit like she had rights on Shirish's time and life. The two had such loud conversations that she couldnt focus on her work. A stalled deadline was following by a prematurely cancelled contract. In her mind, Meera felt Shirish didn't deserve the extra income. All of this was karma. But the rejection was for her to cope, alone.

And in parting, Trisha had said that four people were yet to accept the invite but their dinner plan was on. She had assumed Meera had accepted. Did Shirish accept on her behalf? Should he have? Did she lack the basic courtesy to ask her? Any one, or maybe all of these. 

In her heart, Meera hoped Shirish would stand up for her at least once. Or even validate her grief.

"Why am I really unhappy," she solliloquied. "What exactly is missing? Would it help if I broke the monotony for a bit? Would it wire my thinking differently? Would it make me less dependent on Shirish for validation?" 

After a few hours of some extempor planning and a quick online booking, she lodged the key in the engine of her i10 car and headed for a solo trip to Kamsheth.

It was still the wee hours in the morning and Shirish was in deep slumber. He would awaken to find her missing and grumble his way through his morning routine. Today, she would thankfully miss all of that.  She sped past the highway cutting through the pollution and finally landed in cleaner, greener, cooler air. There was a certain inviting charm about the verdant surroundings, something that beckoned her to forget everything and embrace the endowment of nature. She breathed in long and hard and exhaled all her grief in one long breathe. 

Tugging at her bag pack she walked in to the reasort and checked in. The soft foam bed soaked in her tiredness from working long hours to balance her work and home life, and she slept till late into the after noon. She woke up to 2 missed calls from Shirish. No urgency there! I'm here to heal my overthinking. I'll let things be for now. She went into the bathroom to take a warm soak in the bath tub after adding several aroma essences to the water.

After ordering her favorite most relaxing chamomile and hibiscus cocktail, she decided to venture into the hills. A furry friend walked up to her and cuddled into her arms. It seemed to want someone to bond with, just like she did. She realised what was different here. They had totally submitted themselves to each other. Neither wanted anything more than the friendship. Maybe that was the missing link. In wanting too much perfection in their lives, they had forgotten to celebrate the very foundatio, the friendship that got them together.

After the two days and a clearer head, she headed back with Shirish’s favourite chocolate walnut fudge. The window of her sudden absence had given him some time to introspect as well. He was guilt ridden from having ignored her. When she returned all fresh and smiling, he went numb with regret. He felt the need to have the conversation that could possibly fill the void between them.

"I am not as vocal as you are, Mee. I have an innate fear of saying what I have to without restrain, and that might take things downhill. I am hence avoidant. But I didn't think it affected you so much. My bigger fear has always been losing you. I need you in my life."

The realisation hit Meera that Shirish was generally very inexpressive and could not articulate his feelings the way she did. She went up to him and gave him the warmest hug. She had missed him a good deal during the trip. It made the fudge mandatory. He melted instantly just like the fudge in the summer heat. They exchanged smiles filled with longing. A conversation that both needed to have to rekindle their friendship took shape.

"Don't think about Trisha so much. She is so immature that she doesn't realise what she says and does. Even if we explain our perspective, it will most likely go above her head anyways. So we'll let have her way. I know she is a bit pushy, but she comes here only for a while and then gets on with her life. So may as well let it go."

The fact that Shirish said "we" was enough to convince Meera. They were finally in the same team.

"Aunty's story is the same as yours. She too struggles for validation. I am probably the only person who acknowledges her in this world. She talks mostly and all I need to do is listen and do my work alongside. If she's happy, her family is happy. So the bigger picture is pretty."

"Oh! I understand you were working towards a very strong deadline and it was very difficult for you when I had that meltdown. Does you arm still hurt, Shirish?"

Shirish stretched out the paining arm and Meera applied the herbal ointment. 

Later, he made her a warm cup of black coffee with the exact concentration of coffee she preferred. He paid attention to such small details. Meera's eyes jerked out another tear. It was part guilt, part happines and part relief. She did mean something to him even if he didn't say it often. 

They savoured the creamy dessert together rekindling a love that actually did not need reassurance. It would always be there no matter the distance or the distractions.

"The next trip we are going together. No going solo, okay, Mee?"

"Sure Shee", Meera giggled and the goofy pun in his nickname. 

The giggles became collective peals of self-deprecating laughter that would be theirs for good.