Zeal #ATOZCHALLENGE-Z

Elisa Fernandes had a way of reading the room before anything was said. As a child she could hear silences screaming louder than words. They meant disapproval or even rejection. What more could an eleven-year-old want from life? What more than to be understood?

From the bedroom she could hear the loud hollering of her parents fighting. All she could hear is why neither could give her the attention they should have, how spoiled she already was because of the neglect, and how nothing can undo what has already been lost. Holding on tightly to the pillow, she was grappled in fear and sadness, numb to everything else that was going on. Why were they blaming each other? How bad was the situation already?

Gradually, the self-blame took over and manifested in different ways. Elisa became a recluse, resorted to comfort eating and started to have digestive issues. That too became her fault in the course of time. There was never a talk of showing her to a physician or even a counsellor. It would never be worth it. She was a lost cause. She just had to be left alone.

Life is tougher for a neglected child way beyond disagreeing parents. When outsiders notice, they take liberties they would otherwise never. The colony watchman would distract her and then touch her inappropriately, and before she could process anything, he would look surprised. What happened, baby? Why do you look so worried? Elisa went pale and sped of from there trying hard to fight her tears. Telling her parents would not end well. They would blame her for this too. Either her dressing was bad or just her character. The repeated abuse began to fester as anger inside her. She began to talk back to her parents, throw things or just threaten to end her life. "Do it if you have the guts!" Her father would talk back. 

The loudmouthed cousins from Dubai always had an opinion on her. Pat would say, "She should realise how tough it is to start a life on her own. All this talk of leaving the house. I doubt she will sustain for even an hour." Princy would add, "Uncle, you have given her way too much leeway. Such a badly behaved child." The parents corroborated this narrative. 

With nobody on her side, Elisa had to make a conscious choice. Either to give in and accept the accusations blindy or muster the zeal to carve out her own future. The latter thought began to appeal to her.

Elisa had felt suffocated in her own space. But then she soon realised her battle was hers to fight. She carried a sharp object with her in her bag. The moment the watchman got close to her, she removed the Swiss Army knife and thrust it into his hand before he could grope her. "AAhhhh" was followed by a gazillion cusswords mainly about female relatives and their genitals in Hindi.

The gaurd was so confident that he would be off the hook that he went and complained to Mr. Fernandes. "I told her to not climb the gate and she struck me." Mr. Fernandes was about to swat Elisa. "I did what you would never do for me. He has been molesting me all this while, but you are there to protect him, right? Why does he need to worry? Also, any kind of punishment is less for me, isn't it? Just don't bother, I will solve my own problems." Elisa glanced at her aching bosom that had endured a lot in these past months. The pain did not go away for the longest time. Mr. Fernandes walked away indifferent and angry and muttered something that sounded like "very crooked girl."

Mrs. Fernandes had a change of heart. She brought Elisa a tray of food. "Here, child. Eat this. You must be upset." Elisa said a curt thank you and walked away with the dish. 

Princy stood there looking shell shocked. Elisa looked back and said, "Oh! Now that I am somewhat in the clear, who will believe all the malicious lies you come here to spread about me? I mean who buys a flight ticket to come and gossip? Certainly not for the faint hearted." Princy walked off in disgust.

Pat felt mixed emotions. He did have a compassionate side, but his ego obscured it all. "Try coming back home with a friend. Don't come alone." 

"Don't worry about me. I have my Swiss Army Knife to keep me company. And above all else, I trust in God."

A few years passed and Elisa went on to work part-time and pursue an IT degree of her choice. She got a job in a firm away from her home. "Run away from everything! Everyone is a problem for you, isn't it? When will you learn to live in agreement with people?" Mrs. Fernandes chided. "Can you make sure I am safe and happy here? Else, stay out of my decisions," pat came Elisa's reply.

Elisa packed her suitcase, took one hard look at her house and walked out. Her salary would be able to afford her a rented house. She would plan to gets hers soon. She crossed paths with Pat as she left. 

"So now you'll say I am happy you are leaving, right?"

"I don't want to talk to you, Pat. I have better things to do than break homes. See you never."

That was the last of Elisa the Fernandes' ever saw.